What do dependent persons look like?This diagnosis cannot be made early, because dependence is a normal developmental stage for a child, but if this dependence persists after adolescence, then we can describe that as dependent disorder.These are people that can never make a decision and shoulder responsibility.They are frequently in dysfunctional relationships where they are often mistreated.Choosing the option is to remain alone is too frightening, so they remain in these dysfunctional relationships for too long, sometimes forever.They have no tolerance for criticism or disapproval, which they associate with rejection.They rarely show initiative, and you get the feeling that there is no respite for them, because they are under constant stress and anxiety.They experience their happiness solely through the happiness of others, so they do whatever is necessary to make those around them happy.They pay an expensive price for that happiness.They lose their identity.That doesn’t sound nice, does it?The fact that they are not aggressive does not mean that they do not feel aggression.Instead they turn their aggressive feelings into passive aggression.This gift with a bow, makes the person they depend on feel helpless and suffocated.It is not always easy to separate those people who sacrifice for the people they love, and those people who have a dependency disorder.Let’s say it’s a matter of measure, frequency, and intensity.What these people provoke in their counterpart is the feeling that they need to be taken care of.For example, the mom leading the dependent home to be nurtured when they scratch their palm.It is quite a challenge to resist that cry for help.Dependent people pay the price for having others take care of them, and that price is obedience and total subordination.Persons who are hooked by a dependent person must provide strength and support for them.The dependent’s partner may get the goods, but they pay a price, because the sympathetic relationship will eventually suffocate them.It is difficult to know where it begins or ends, because the dependent person does everything to avoid being left behind and rejected.Their life is designed and organized in such a way that they will not have to be left alone.However, if their partner chooses to end the relationship, they quickly find their next host, because it is unbearable for them to be alone.Being close to a partner is, of course, essential and desirable for building a relationship.However, if the partners lose themselves and feel like one person, they risk their relationship.How do we recognize this in partnerships?If the partnership is excessively idyllic and without any conflict, essentially untested, there is a risk that any conflict could end the relationship, and so it is avoided.When we look at the dynamics of relationships from the outside, all is not as it seems.When or if a conflict does occur, the dynamics are as follows.Partner expresses disagreement about something, or seeks his space.This reinforces the dependent’s role as the victim, causing increased anxiety in the partner, who is thinking, I did everything for you and you want to leave me. As a result, the relationship becomes painful and troublesome.The problem is that these relationship dynamics are hard to spot.This type of personality selects people who will take care of them in return for their subordination.They demand to be protected n instead of seeking solutions.Needing someone, and in turn, receiving gratitude, is not necessarily an unhealthy need.The question is one of whether the relationship is based solely on the need for one side not to be alone and the other side needing someone.The need for one side to be a victim and the other side a lifesaver.The need for one side to depend and the other side to depend on it.The impression they make is that they are gentle and pleasant, kind and peaceful, and never come into conflict at any cost.What a colleague of mine would say, those are the people you feel you want to hug for no rational reason. Not getting into conflicts at work only serves as a prelude to creating dependent relationships.It’s hard for bosses to give them a dismissal for obvious reasons.They will never show initiative, and if forced to enter into something new and challenging, they will sabotage their success in advance.Dependent personalities are predisposed to anxiety disorders.Generalized anxiety can develop due to their obsessive concern that they will be left alone.Also, they may suffer panic attacks when left alone in unfamiliar situations, because they believe they will not be able to cope.Expressing anxiety, possibly even panic, serves to keep the supportive person close, and the dependent will continue to receive their protection.This also prevents the dependent from having to take responsibility and be independent.The development of agoraphobia is a common characteristic, as anxiety attacks occur in situations in which the dependent leaves a familiar and supportive environment.Often, hypochondria also develops, and the dependent personality uses this affliction to attract the attention and care of others.Of course, these disorders are not the exclusive province of dependent personalities.In combination with their histrionics, passivity can be transmuted into seduction, which serves their need for addiction.When addiction is linked to narcissistic traits, arrogance is somewhat mitigated.In the case of avoidance disorder, the fear of rejection and ridicule is more pronounced, and the need for support, however inadequate, is increased.In practice, dependent disorder occurs in 1% or less of the population.Although anyone can find something on this list that applies to them, this does not mean that they have dependent disorder.Difficulties making everyday decisions without the direction, approval, or reassurance of others.The need for others to assume the responsibilities that they themselves should shoulder.An unwillingness to begin any project or task without first gaining the support, assurance, and approval of others.